I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
