she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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