just tell him i said nine months
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
