I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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