He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
