I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
