My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm too high and old for this...
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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