We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
