careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
