There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
