your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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