may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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