Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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