Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
