I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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