I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
