Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
