woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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