Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
