im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
