Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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