She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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