I'm going to jail i love you
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
