I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
