So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
