1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
