does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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