He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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