Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
