He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just found puke in my bra..
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
