Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Couch. On fire.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
