Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
