omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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