And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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