i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
