I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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