i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
