Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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