His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
