i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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