sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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