Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
