he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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