sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
