Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
