"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
