im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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