fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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