im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Even my vagina gasped.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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