I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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