Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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