I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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