woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
